What to do when love becomes a trap?
Is it true that love can become a trap? Basing on my experience yes it’s true. Especially when you come to a point to accept even rude behaviors from your partner. Or when you have a negative attitude.
The question is, how a sweetheart partner can change into a nasty person?
Most of the times the answer is always the same. He or she has always been like that, but you couldn’t realize it because, when you are in love, your mind and your body react in a way that for you it is impossible to perceive reality as you should.
Unfortunately, love can become a trap, especially during the first weeks or months you date someone.
Love becomes a trap because when you fall in love, you unleash a storm of chemicals (in part comparable to what happens with the intake of the drug) released from the hypothalamus. Dopamine surges justifying the euphoria. Serotonin is reduced, explaining the obsessiveness. The nerve growth factor increases by increasing the romance, as well as oxytocin and vasopressin. All these chemicals prevent you from being rational. You see your partner in a certain way; you can forget any possible misunderstanding, any sort of strange attitude.
You are so in love, and you cannot imagine that one day, love becomes a trap.
You have all the good intentions, you start thinking of a future with your partner, maybe even to get married. When you are in love, your imagination travels at supersonic speed, but then one day everything change. The first step of falling in love is over, and you start to see your partner differently. You may notice some details that you haven’t noticed before. And in some cases, you do not like these details, or worse, they make you suffer.
In the worst-case scenario, your partner ultimately disappoints you. You thought that he or she was different. However you still love him or her, and you continue your relationship although it does not make you happy as you expected.
It is precisely in this situation that love becomes a trap and most people remain trapped by it.
Sometimes a situation of emotional dependence, but also economic, creates, other time you cannot find the courage to end your relationship. Love becomes a dangerous trap especially when a person is afraid of solitude. Which, in the end, is only a state of mind because solitude does not exist (proved by the fact that on this planet we are over 7 billion people).
Then what to do when love becomes a trap, and you find yourself in a difficult situation?
Carefully think about if it’s the case of going on with a relationship that does not satisfy you one hundred percent. Do not delude yourself about the fact that your partner will change.
People hardly change unless they want to do it.
I recommend you never stay in a love trap for a long time. This means that you should never allow people, your partner included, disrespect you. I recommend you never allow your partner treating you in a wrong way if you do so, you’ll never be happy. Rather than stay with a person who mistreats you, stay alone and working on yourself to increase your self-esteem, although it can be the hardest decision of your life.
If you would like some practical tool to have good self-esteem, self-confidence and become more aware of your emotions, do not miss my book “Be the Hero of Your Life – An Instruction Manual for Self-esteem, available on Amazon.
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Be happy, be strong, and be the hero of your life.